Church-shmurch

Ok, so I'm on a rant again.  I'm noticing a pattern here...

I had an encounter with one of the rudest people I have met since we moved to Louisiana.  Guess where? A doctor's office?  Close, but no.  Walmart?  Good guess, but that was a few weeks ago.  If the title hasn't already given it away, at a church...building.  She was the church (building) secretary.  I have so many issues with this already I don't even know where to start.

In case you don't already know my stance on this, the church is not a building.  The building is where the church comes to meet.  It's just a meeting area, yet we treat it like the moment we step foot inside we must be solemn, maybe even pious.  It's a conference room, people.  The church is not even a family, with crazy uncles who talk to themselves, and aunts we only see once a year, and parents we try to avoid certain conversations with (although you may find all of them in the church).  The church is ONE BODY. One cohesive entity working toward one purpose.  At least that's what my Bible tells me.  Where is this?  Why don't I see it readily within the walls of the church building?  Why does this building feel less like entering into rest and safety with the precious bride of Christ and more like a spiritual DMV?

Let me share what I see that a body does and does not do.

A body does NOT ridicule, avoid, or cut off a part that is hurt or ugly.  It gives every bit of attention and energy to taking care of that part. It nurtures itself.

A body gets rid of FAT.  Fat, the part that sits there and contributes nothing, but keeps the rest of the body weighed down and keeps it from operating at its full potential.

A body fights infection, disease, blemish - those things that take attention away from the health of the whole.

A body does NOT have a secretary.  Corporations do, the untouchable upper crust do, not bodies.

We are a body and our head is CHRIST.  The head - the part that controls everything else, the part that judges the actions of the body to be right/wrong, good/bad, etc.

THE PROBLEM is that no one sees the HEAD.  All they see the body as a representation of the what the head MUST be thinking.  See the issue here?  If we are not WALKING in Christ, how can we know what He is thinking?  How can we represent Him well?

I am tired of hearing about Jesus.  I love to be fed spiritual meat.  Don't get me wrong.  But every week I sit in a huge room with a bunch of people that I don't know, much less know if they are my brothers and sisters in Christ and we listen to stories about Jesus.  How is it impacting our lives?  Are we showing the Jesus we know so much about to those who are hurting, both inside and outside the walls of our building?  Maybe, if we can get past how loud the music is on Sunday morning, or if it fits into our schedule on Tuesday because that's not a church night, or if it doesn't require us to get dirty or interact with those who are.

Salvation is not personal.  Jesus came to die for you, yes.  Because Jesus did that you get to go to heaven, yes.  You are grateful and thankful, as well you should be.  But it doesn't stop THERE.  Jesus did not come solely so that YOU could make it into heaven and be with Him because well, you are such a cool person.  As Jen Hatmaker would say, Be blessed, Jesus.  Salvation begins with you and is infinitely bigger than YOU.  It doesn't stop there.  It can't...stop...there.  Jesus came to redeem you so that you could spread that to others. Jesus came to fulfill a plan so ridiculous no person could have invented it; Using you and me as the vehicles to spread His saving grace, so that by some miracle someone will look at us one day and say, "I want some of what you have.  I want to know about this Jesus."

As I fume over the eyes of the body that looked down at me in that building hallway, I count myself in this number.  I am guilty.  I am a self-consumed piece of a diseased body, wanting to look in the mirror all the time and admire what Jesus has done and what He is doing.  I am NOT the face of Jesus to my kids, my husband, the woman who cut me off in traffic.  And you can forget about the Muslim neighbor, the atheist at work, the homeless downtown, or the suffering across the globe.  I am the unmentionable parts that the "eyes" made me feel like.  And I long for change.  Come quickly Jesus.

I atrribute this burning desire to do and be and move to the Holy Spirit.  And Jen Hatmaker and David Platt.  If you haven't read "7: An experimental mutiny against excess", do it.  If you haven't read "Radical", do it.  You may not agree with them.  That's ok - at least you are thinking.  You may agree with everything and already be those blessed feet bringing the gospel.  Awesome!  I thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for you.  Then you may be like me...tired of the status quo.  Longing for Jesus and to be used by Him.  No longer satisfied to be the "fat" of the body.  Good for you.  Let's go...

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore! (Movie anyone?) Ok, now that I have your attention... let me 'splain. No, there is too much, let me sum up. (Another movie). For the most part we live our lives. Day to day we go about our business. We all have disappointments, struggles, failures, sadnesses, etc. Some of us deal with them gracefully, some self-medicate, some deny, some push it to some dark place deep inside and just simply get through it. But we ALL deal with junk. And we just chalk it up to being part of life and move on. Let me suggest that it is NOT just part of life, that there is more to the "abundant" life that followers of Christ are assured. Now I'm not preaching a life without pain or struggle or difficulty. The apostle Paul can attest to that. (If you question his belief, see Acts chapter 9 and if you question his difficult life, see 2 Corinthians chapter 11. ) What I am preaching is a God that is good, a God that doesn't set things in motion and sit back to see how they turn out, hoping that we can muddle through somehow, a God that loves us and hurts with us and sympathizes with us and wants so much more for us and from us. I am MAD that I can't let my children go play outside alone. I am MAD that the divorce rate within the body of Christ is the same as those without Him. I am MAD that I can't find clothes for my 9 year old that helps preserve her innocence. I am MAD that what used to be an "old person's disease" now seems to consume younger and younger victims. I am MAD that we believe the lies that destroy our relationships, and effectiveness, and joy, and anything else that is good and light in our lives. I am MAD that we accept the status quo, that this is as good as it gets. And we find ourselves standing somewhere between hope and contentment, not grasping either one fully and completely frozen and helpless. I am MAD. And I challenge you to get MAD. Because until we get passionate about something, until it hits us where we hurt, we are complacent. And the evil one doesn't have to worry about looking for whom he will devour because we are throwing OURSELVES under the bus.

I challenge what you truly believe about God. Do you believe that He is good? Do you believe that His way is really best and that He wants the best for you? I mean, REALLY believe it. I don't, not always. Do you believe that you are really dead to sin? That it REALLY has no power over you? One of my favorite new friends here in Baton Rouge said on Sunday that we mistakenly think that our sin nature and our life in Christ exists simultaneously. But it doesn't. If we are true followers of Christ, we are not those people anymore. Those people are DEAD. But we still walk around in our burial clothes. Why? Because it's easier, because we can only see with these veiled eyes, because it's all we know and it's comfortable. Lots of reasons. I challenge you to take off your clothes (not literally of course - thought we needed a light moment ;-) Enough with accepting what life throws at us. We were created for so much more. I love you all!

Revelations

So I have a blog post all typed up and ready to go, but it was over a week ago and seems a little...well, outdated. It was all about expectations and how they ruin our lives. If you are really interested, let me know!

I have had a revelation this week. I am not in control. Crazy, right? Seriously, I've known this for a while, but haven't really lived in light of it. I have gotten up every day and just asked God to help me be stronger, help me do better, help me blah blah blah. And I have failed miserably. Then this week in our adult Bible Study (sunday school, just doesn't do it justice), a sweet friend said "Why do we pray to God for strength?" And I'm thinking, duh? because I can't do it by myself. Then he said something to the effect of we want God to make us stronger, better, more this or that, bionic in a way, and that's not what God wants from us. He wants us to let Him do it through us. We just need to get out of the way. And it CLICKED! I've been trying WAY too hard. Although I know in my head that I can't do it and I say with my mouth I can't do it, I still live like I can. I need to get out of the way! So far this week it's been...I'm not sure there's a word for it. Revolutionary? Life changing? That all sounds too commonplace, too banal. I'm not working myself to death and have found some of the joy that I've been looking for. I highly recommend if you are still being a Martha to reconsider.

As you can tell from what I'm searching for, we have a new issue in our lives. Libby, at 8 years old, is asking when she can get married. Seriously? Married? She says she wants to have a boyfriend. Are you kidding me? I'm so not ready for this. So we've been stocking up on books relating to Christian courting and purity, etc. etc. How many of you stopped and did a double take? Yes, I said courting. And yes, it's me, Nikki. I have come to believe that dating as we know it is not what God had in mind for His children as they search for a life-long mate. And considering that the brain isn't fully formed (particularly the frontal lobe which helps inhibit risky behavior) until age 25, it makes sense to give a structure, guidelines, a certain measure of protection. I was already married and a mother by then. But I digress. I know most of the objections: it's too protective, the kids will be freaks, dating is necessary to see if you are compatible in marriage. But I propose that not only is dating not preparing you for marriage, it is in fact potentially preapring you for divorce. At least the way I did it. In a dating relationship, for the most part, you do it because it is fun. And when it ceases to be fun, you desire, and are encouraged, to leave said relationship. Life is too short and you are too young to live this way, we are told. The fact is most dating relationships do involve participants that are indeed too young to be involved at the level and intensity that they are at. So we learn to leave. Then there is the issue of physical AND emotional purity. I know I heard a lot about not having sex before marriage, but no one EVER talked to me about guarding my heart, and that aspect has proven to be so much more damaging and painful for future relationships. On top of that, compatibility before or at the time of marriage does not in any way assure compatibility throughout marriage. Sometimes there are things we just don't know about, no matter how long we date. And the fact is, none of us remain the same people. I man I married is NOT the same man I am married to today (good, bad, or indifferent), and no amount of dating could have prepared me. Yet we are still called to remain, for better or worse, through thick and thin, when it's fun and when it's not. So why not enlist the help and wisdom of parents to look for the things that matter in the long run, not what we see, that perhaps blinds us at the time? Pray for us as we begin this journey. It is such a far cry from where we both have come from and at times feels a little hypocritical, but our desire for our children is borne from hearts that seek after God and want His absolute best and stems from painful experiences that we would keep them from repeating. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, (constructive) cristicism, etc.

Praying for you, nikki

Analyze This...and that...and them

I am a thinker...not a talker. I like to analyze people. I was one course short of getting a minor in Psychology and have had just enough Abnormal psych to be dangerous. I like to put people in boxes - it makes me feel better, feel like I have a handle on them. I even do it to myself. I know my Myers-Briggs type (ISFJ) and have tried to guess others'. I am neither right or left-brained, but center-brained which keeps me in a constant state of conflict, trying to meet the demands of both my creative and logical sides. I am a conservative. I birthed a Hedonist, a Post-modern, and a Terrorist. My husband is a talker. He is an "E" on the Myers-Briggs scale. He isn't in any of the boxes that I am in. My kids fall into all different categories, some of the most difficult being those that their dad is in! People who fall in a certain box, I deal with in a certain way. It's kind of a formula. This system serves me fairly well, until I encounter someone who doesn't fit in a box. Every once in a while I come across an individual who leaves me at a loss as where to put him or her. I remember very clearly when the wife of a college friend called me up and asked me to go pottery painting with her. I quickly labelled and boxed her, only to find that she actually genuinely wanted to get to know me. Now she is one of my dearest friends. I consistently feel like I don't deserve a friend like her! When my husband became a true follower of Christ, He switched boxes on me. That was even harder. I liked some of the boxes he switched from. I stood (and some days still stand) in the midst of boxes pulled from their shelves, holding him in my hands and wondering exactly where he belongs. I have a cousin who was in the Catholic and liberal boxes, who now doesn't fit really in either. The problem with boxes is that there really isn't room for people to move. It quickly disintegrates from being an orderly system into chaos and frustration. There's no room for change. The Newsboys say it best in their song "Shine." (What you should have heard when you first arrived!)


And try as you may, there isn't a way
To explain the kind of change
That would make an Eskimo renounce fur
That would make a vegetarian barbecue hamster
Unless you can trace this about-face
To a certain sign.


The Lord who created us all, who made us with and knows all of our imperfections, weaknesses, strengths, struggles, etc. not only allows us to change, but desires that in us, as we are conformed to the image of His Son. Either we would have to be perfect at birth, be made perfect at the moment of salvation, OR allow ourselves AND those around us room, time, opportunity, and grace to change. And sometimes it is a painful process. Let me give you an example. I love food. I mean, LOVE food. Anything fatty or fried. Red meat, sweets, carbs...love it all. The Lord has gradually brought people into my life to show me the benefits of caring for His temple, my body, and the little temples around me. I would love to say that I have embraced it willingly and with joy. It's been more like wailing and gnashing of teeth....I was not originally happy with this, and I honestly think that part of it was that I felt like I was losing part of what made me "me." I went into Whole Foods and almost had a nervous breakdown. The Lord was switching my boxes. Nikki didn't go into the "Whole Foods shopper" box. And I still don't. But I'm learning that there are really only 2 boxes. Those who are diligently seeking to become like Christ and glorify God in all they do (believers) and those who aren't (non-believers). And Scripture tells me how I should interact with them. So all this time I've been making it WAY more complicated than I needed to. Imagine that....

A Whole New World....

So after weeks (literally) of trying to determine what I want this blog to LOOK like, then taking a few days off because I was tired of messing with it, I am finally posting something. Not being sure who, if anyone, will actually want to read this, I find myself at a loss for what to write. I guess this really is more for my sanity than because anyone is DYING to know what I do every day. But hopefully the Lord will be able to use something shared here for a greater purpose.

Let me begin with the title. Certainly someone is wondering what that's all about. It is multi-faceted, so let me explain....no, there is too much, let me sum up. (anyone know what movie that is from?)

• As many know, we have been praying about and considering full-time missions for several years now. Our field of choice is the U.K. The official flower of Scotland is the thistle and the official flower of England is the rose. There are many references to the thistle and the rose throughout the history of those two countries, most notably concerning the uniting of them under one monarch, a Tudor princess (fascinating family) named Margaret, sister to Henry VIII. I have a historical fiction called "The Thistle and the Rose" that still sits waiting to be read. There is also an Irish pub named as such, but I digress...
• As believers, we are called out, called to be different. Maybe we should be the rose, but more often than not, we appear to be the thistle. Foreign, alien, strange to this world.
• On a personal note, I'm a bit of a black sheep, or at least feel like one. One small example: My immediate family were all born in GA, home of the Cherokee Rose; I was not. I could go on about this topic, but it's not healthy, so just know that I have some experience in this area!!

If you are still reading, you are a true friend and I appreciate that my ranting doesn't fall on deaf ears. I will be praying for all of you who are joining me in this journey, however short or long it may be.